Is your schedule so jam-packed with stuff that you don't have time for the things you really, truly love?
I know I've been guilty of saying "yes" to too many things, and then my schedule gets so crazy, I'm not even enjoying the activities I packed my schedule with. This is common for people with the Achiever StrengthsFinder® talent theme (or high achievers, in general).
What's one way to stop the craziness and create a life you love?
START SAYING NO.
This little two-letter word can be so powerful! Although it can sometimes be associated with negativity, it can be used in a positive way and may be the answer to your sanity!
I came across a speech that Lady GaGa gave at Yale University's Emotion Revolution Summit, which was organized by the Born This Way Foundation and the Yale Centre for Emotional Intelligence.
She talks about how she was losing her sense of self when she was overworked by things she thought went along with being an artist/celebrity. She explains her frustrations with the pressure that is put on music artists' to do things that have nothing to do with their unique talents because it's 'just part of the job'.
Watch this short video to see how Lady GaGa starting creating a life she's in love with, and then keep reading for more of my thoughts on this topic! (Transcription below)
[Emphasis my own.]
"I have had to make decisions, like, why am I unhappy?
Okay, Stefani, GaGa, hybrid person.
Why are you unhappy?
Why is it that you want to quit music? (a couple years ago)
Well, I really don’t like selling these…fragrances, perfumes.
I don’t like wasting my time spending days just shaking people’s hands and smiling and taking selfies.
It feels shallow to my existence. I have a lot more to offer than my image.
I don’t like being used to make people money.
I feel sad when I’m overworked and that I’ve just become a money making machine and that my passion and my creativity takes a back seat. That makes me unhappy.
So what did I do?
I started to say no.
I’m not doing that.
I don’t want to do that.
I’m taking that picture.
I’m not going to that event.
I’m not standing by that cause that’s not what I stand for.
And slowly but surely I remembered who I am.
And then, you go home and you look in the mirror, and you’re like “Yes! I can go to bed with you every night.”
Cause that person, I know that person. That person has balls, that person has integrity, that person has an opinion. That person just doesn’t say yes.
That person doesn’t get a text from somebody and say, “Oh my God, they wrote this, and they sent this emoji, should I write this back? What do you think? Is that okay to say? Are they gonna like me if i say this? Should I say something different?
This is the age we live in. We’re not actually communicating with each other. We are unconsciously communicating lies."
My advice on this?
START Saying no.
- Empowers you to clear up your schedule for things you love
- Communicates your truth and what you agree with (or not)
- Puts your needs of self-care to the top of your priority list
- Acknowledges respect for yourself and those around you
- Opens up physical space to build relationships and spend time with people you love
- Opens up mental space to allow your brain to breathe, de-stress, meditate, pray, and find peace
- Demonstrates you are in charge of your life
- Shows your strength
- Honors your values and principles
- Sets clear boundaries
- Protects you from exploitation or being taken advantage of
- Keeps you laser focused on your dreams and goals
Saying "no" is one way to create a life you love and tame your over-achiever.
What are you going to say no to today?